J.M. Williams

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SHARE: DSF – Story Time by Laura Anne Gilman

Jun
20

This is a nice little story with great narrative voice…despite having almost no narration. The dialogue exchange really delivers that childish curiosity. And the revelation at the end is heartbreaking.

That being said, the work is not without its problems. I question the choice of the word “youngling.” Why not simply use “child”?  In this case, the word “youngling” does little to deepen the story or build the world. All it does for me is bring up the Prequels…Bleh. I think a good rule to follow is: if a simpler word is available to use, it is often the best to use it.

Also the POV in the limited bits of narration is inconsistent. In one place it is distant and omniscient, in another it is deep and limited. I’d think if you’re going to only have three lines of narration, that you’d want to make sure they all sync together well. But maybe that’s just me.

All in all, though, its a great little story that deserves a higher rating than it has right now. Head over to the site and give Laura some rockets!

Source: Daily Science Fiction :: Story Time by Laura Anne Gilman

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