J.M. Williams

A home for all things fantasy and sci-fi.

The Man Who Expected to Die – Friday Fictioneers, 3 February 2017

Feb
02
roger-bultot-flower

Photo by Roger Bultot

I watched the man cross the street through the glass eye of my high-powered rifle. He wasn’t my target; he had nothing to do with me. I was here to kill a killer, not some guy in a faded wool coat.

Then he turned his head up towards me; understanding restructured his face. Instead of running, he patted down his coat and rearranged his collar. Satisfied, he looked back, as if he expected me to fire.

Who was this guy? I pulled my rifle down from the window sill and slunk back into the shadows.

*Written as a response to the Friday Fictioneers photo prompt.

26 Responses to The Man Who Expected to Die – Friday Fictioneers, 3 February 2017

  1. once in a while, i read in the news about desperate folks who wanted to end their life but couldn’t do it themselves and needed to challenge somebody with a gun like the police to do it for them. he must be one of them.

  2. A very interesting take on the theme. Mysterious and thought provoking

  3. Such a thought-provoking vignette. And so many possibilities for the way this story could go. Loved it.

  4. Fascinating take on the prompt. Well done.

  5. Love you word style. Excellent piece. x

  6. Nice. Very mysterious.

  7. michael1148humphris

    Different and makes the reader think. Well done

  8. This is an interesting take on the prompt. I love how the gentleman on the street sort of prepared himself to die. Kudos.

  9. Makes you wonder just why the gentleman expected it…

  10. Nicely done, there is so much to read between the lines. I liked “understanding restructured his face.”

    • I am very glad the absent details fill in well. Thats the trouble with microfiction, right? It can be hard to tell what you must say and what can be left out or implied.

  11. You have a good opening scene here. I’d like to read Act II and find out who he’s really aiming at. I’d rethink the phrase “restructured his face.” Understanding flashed across, or lit up, or ?? Restructured sounds to me like his nose moved down a few inches, his chin moved up and his eyes shoved over toward his ears. 🙂

    • I doubt there will be an Act II, and even if this guy will pick his rifle back up. He seems pretty bothered to me. The “restructured” line was supposed to convey that sense of shock and confusion. I think I’ll keep it, though thanks for the comment. Feel free to offer advice on any of other pieces, nobody else does 😉

      • I’m glad you didn’t mind. I’ve noticed that there aren’t editorial comments given, but I appreciate them myself. I’ll take a look at some of your other posts.

        • I have thick skin. If the comment isn’t useful or I disagree with it, no loss. The real loss is in a good critique never offered. As long as its all tackful and friendly of course.

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